Best of the After Life
by Rangerskirt
Summary: In Erik's opinion the after life was much more painful than death itself. Death had been painful but it had all ended eventually leaving him physically numb. The after life had caused him pain and longing in a much different and agonizing way, and that kind of distress didn't ease by simply passing on, in fact that had probably made it worse.


Warnings: Obviously talks of death/dying, mentions of/non-graphic sex, some swearing, mentions of different religions briefly, etc

A/N: For anyone waiting on my sequel to _Nesting_ it is coming, I just got a new job so I have to write one fic at a time to keep focused instead of doing several at a time. It will be the next thing I write but I've been working on this particular story for weeks so I decided it was time to finish it and get it out there to read.

* * *

Death. The thought of it had always bored Erik through every fiber of his being, in novels it was either a punishment or completely romanticized. Being dead wasn't a beautiful thing and he knew it up close, he had buried his mother and father when he had been young and still, the mental pictures of their bodies could plague his mind on occasion.

So that breezy morning when Erik had woken up dead he had been expecting either one cliche or another but been presented with absolutely nothing. Quite literally and blankly nothing to guide him through this experience. Waking up had felt like rising from the deepest of sleep when your eyes were still heavy and felt crusted shut, finding himself laying in the cool frost-tipped grass of the park seemed quite familiar yet also left him at a loss for words.

It took a few moments before his mind seemed to catch up with his non-bodily form, after sitting up everything felt the same, there had been no signs in which he was actually deceased. It wasn't until he had stood up and stumbled through a cycle passing by with a stumble that Erik had realized something was very off about himself. Testing theories further for himself the young man found no one could see him and his body could seemingly walk through anything, walls, benches, trees, other people, absolutely everything. Well other than the sturdy ground beneath his feet that seemed to be the only thing holding him on this plain of existence.

As he spent the first day trying to get his grounds, figure out where he was exactly, Erik learned a few things and most of them were beyond irritating. First was that the only things that could see him were sometimes little kids, and dogs. There was no way he was going to start talking to children and get them sent to a mental hospital when their parents decided they were insane, Erik hadn't had the greatest childhood growing up so there was no way in heaven or hell that he was going to risk screwing up a kid for his own needs.

Secondly, he couldn't get away from this damned park. Every time he tried to walk away he could only remember getting a few blocks before his mind would feel fuzzy like an old tv with an antenna on the wrong frequency, and when it cleared up, he was walking back towards the park and feeling unbearably drawn towards it. The busy New York park was soon becoming Erik's new, and forced, home. To be honest it was starting to drive him insane after three days passed and he still couldn't get further than three blocks away.

The park held seldom alleviation from his ever growing boredom and frustration, one morning a gentleman had left his paper on the park bench when leaving in a rush for what Erik assumed to be work. Unable to turn the pages himself Erik had taken his pleasant time reading the front page, more than several times even, and was quite happy when a child happening by had picked it up playfully. The little girl in blue suspenders had muttered something about there being no funny pages and tossed it back down to run after her mother, Erik muttered a small unheard thank you to her so that he could read the new pages several times each.

Never having been one for the paper Erik was suddenly reminded why, the front page had been some gruesome story of a fire in a home out in the country, though luckily no one had been killed there had been several injuries. The inside gray pages had been about the weather coming up, mostly warm and cool weather until a big storm was going to hit in about half a week. Last but not least had to be the ads page, still, Erik looked it over several times but it had to have been the most boring of all the pages with little to no value to him.

He started to experiment with his senses on day four of boredom, things smelled the same, the city looked the same as his memories, yet Erik missed the feeling of the sun when it hit his skin, the cool breeze that could rustle through his clothes. He would never have thought how much he could miss such simple feelings, hunger didn't plague him either since obviously ghosts couldn't eat, but at the point, he was at Erik was almost missing the need to urinate.

As the fifth day came and went Erik had long since counted everything in the park and learned the regulars routines. There were exactly 27 trees unless you counted the one that forked at the top as two then there would be 28, there were 16 bushes only two of which held birds nests, and so on. The park didn't have too many regulars but Erik knew the few who came almost every day he had been there, the wife in the pink jogging suit that pushed her twins up the hill in the distance at the end had been by far his favorite. She had always worn that extremely serious expression on her face, eyebrows furrowed as she pushed her legs heavily up that hill behind the weight of her usually sleeping babies.

On the sixth day, Erik was fed up, the young ghost had clenched his hands and screamed in the middle of a full park completely unnoticed, and swung his fist and a leg that went straight through a tree. Where was his portal to heaven or hell, where were the angels or devils to drag him somewhere, where the hell was death with a dark hood and scythe!? After almost a week of practical isolation driving him mad, the auburn haired man was ready to accept whatever cliche death had to offer him without a single complaint...ok maybe one or two but he would mutter them under his breath.

There came no answer at that time, though on the seventh day something happened to Erik that would change his afterlife forever.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

It was late in the afternoon when the dark clouds started rolling in, thunder cracked and Erik could see lightning in the distance from his park as he laid in the grass staring upwards. The rain started soon after and the Earth began to give off that sweet and unique smell, the rain drops dripped right through his body from the sky to wet the ground. "Guess the weather man can be right sometimes after all." he said openly to himself, remembering his thorough glances over the newspaper days ago.

"I wish I could fucking feel it..." Erik grumbled in a defeated tone, having lifted one hand up to try to catch the drops and then let his arm drop to the wet ground in frustration.

It felt like time had stopped for him like he had been lying there for eternity just listening to rain drops pelt the ground harder as the storm hit more fully. Eventually deciding to sit up his ears picked up on the sound of footsteps in the harsh rain, suddenly turning his head Erik saw him. It was a single young man walking through the park as the rain fell, the man was well shielded with his combination of a clear umbrella, a blue raincoat, and black rain boots.

Giving him a glance over Erik spotted brown floppy hair and from his distance, it appeared like the man had blue eyes, not that he was sure after all it was dark and stormy out. After a few moments of staring Erik felt like he couldn't tear his eyes away from this man, there was a weird feeling emanating from him that if Erik had to describe it felt similar to the warm rays of the sun on a gorgeous day outside. Like the warm sunshine he was no longer able to feel yet was sensing coming off in waves from this young man.

"I must be going insane..." the ghostly man said as he moved to his feet and blinked a few more times quickly. It was a split second thing but Erik noticed it immediately since it was something he hadn't felt in an entire week, not truly, and it made him rush forward just as the living man was turning to keep walking through the park.

Chasing after him like he was an old friend with haste, Erik knew by now that he couldn't touch living people but he just couldn't resist the want to reach out anyway. He felt his hand actually close around the other man's upper arm and pulled him to a rough stop and to turn back to look towards Erik. He would never forget those piercing blue eyes that stared into his and then looked away, refusing to meet back after the brief moment.

"You can see me...you looked at me and then started walking away!" he accused with a snarl in his voice.

"I'm so sorry!" finally the shorter man spoke up, "I'm so sorry I wasn't expecting to run into any spirits here so I wasn't fully prepared when I saw you there!" The apology was quick but seemed more than genuine, which was fine by Erik since he didn't particularly want to be mad at the only person who could see him. "Please forgive me, I'm sure you're quite lonely here aren't you?" A smile formed on the man's lips and he didn't yank away from the firm grip Erik still held on his arm, "My name is Charles Xavier, it's wonderful to meet you, Erik."

The thought hit his head suddenly then, that for the first time since waking up a week ago not only was Erik able to communicate with another adult but also touch something physical. As soon as he thought about it that seemed to snap the magic spell and his hand slipped through Charles' arm and the touch was lost and left cold again. "..I never told you my name." Was Erik's only and quite suspicious answer.

Seemingly having chosen to ignore that comment Charles only continued to smile and even gave a gentle laugh, "You must be quite new if you can't even keep a touch on me. Here, allow me, Erik." The young man gestured for Erik to hold his hand up, Charles did the same and slowly moved his hand closer to Erik's. "All you need to do is concentrate a bit, this is one of the easiest things you can learn to do while you're a spirit." Holding his hand a mere inch away from the tall spirits, Erik then moved his hand forward to close the gap and warmly their hands met.

"Wonderful Erik, you're quite the quick learner aren't you! I understand that you're probably confused, lonely, those sorts of things so...how about you come along home with me and I can answer all of your questions." Charles glanced at him expectantly, his eyes fluttering from a spike of the wind that blew towards them.

Their hands fell away from each other and Erik swallowed hard with what felt like a knot in his throat, "I mean...yeah, I want that but I can't seem to get more than a few blocks away from this park."

Giving a wave of his hand Charles shook his head, "Don't worry about that. You'll be able to follow me without any trouble." If Charles wasn't being so nice to him, and Erik wasn't so desperate for answers, the specter would assuredly have been frustrated to no end with how mysterious the living man was being about all of his wording. So with a sigh of slight irritation, Erik nodded and gave up for the moment on asking any questions, gesturing his arms to keep on moving. "Lead the way then Mr. Xavier."

"Please, Charles is fine. Just call me Charles."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Charles' apartment had been a good fifteen-minute walk from the park, up against that hill Erik had watched the pink lady from the park jog up every morning, or maybe Erik should have called it a flat since his new companion had a lovely and soft British accent. Seemingly the Brit was well off too since it was labeled as a 'Luxury Apartment' on the bulletin board when they walked in the front and then took the elevator up to the fourth floor.

Each floor, as long as they were all the same as Charles', only had one apartment. So stepping out of the elevator there was a small front door entry way, which Charles quickly unlocked with his key and headed inside, politely locking only after both of them were inside. Shrugging off his dripping coat and hanging up that plus his umbrella, he asked his new spirit friend, "So Erik first of all, how long have you been around? When do you remember waking up first?" Erik had no qualms about getting right down to business.

"Getting close to a week ago, I woke up in that park but I can't remember how I got there. Just my name, I think I have most of my memories other than the few days leading up to me being in that park." Erik gave a quick pause, "I walked by a store and their calendar had said it was the 6th of April, the last date I can remember was April 2nd."

There was a friendly clap on his shoulder that jostled Erik forward slightly since he wasn't expecting it, it was amazing how fast you could forget what it would feel like to be touched even in a simple way like Charles had just demonstrated. "This is all great Erik, your memory gap is small so that makes things much easier. A lot of spirits can't remember weeks, months before their death!"

That was something Erik hadn't been thinking much about, he didn't want to think about his death at all and he couldn't tell if that was his personal flaw or a flaw of death. On one hand, his life hadn't been prim and perfect and from what he thought, Erik would consider his life more of a shit show and himself a piece of that shit. Though the brief times Erik had considered thinking over his death it felt like there had been a spiraling vortex ready to suck him in if he contemplated too much.

Charles' feet took him into the kitchen and he started to make a batch of tea and pour it into two cups. "Hm hm~" his voice hummed a tune gently as he took one cup and dumped it out suddenly into the sink, "Ok so...start explaining. I've been walking around that damn park for almost a week going crazy, I'm ready for some answers."

"Of course you are." the ever bright voice said as Charles brought over the empty cup and moved Erik's hands over it and pressed them there to hold it. "Feels nice and warm right? Almost like you're enjoying an actual cup of tea." It did feel good honestly, so Erik didn't let go and only tapped a finger gently against the tea cup that was far too small for his hands. Though seemingly the perfect size for Charles' more petite ones.

"I'm mentally sensitive to the dead and spirit world, some people call it being a medium but I find that implies one makes a job or living out of it." Charles started off with, and in any other situation than this Erik would have instantly called him a liar and a fake. "You my friend...sadly you have passed away. More than likely you have unfinished business or you died in some way that your spirit won't let you leave Earth yet until it feels satisfied. There really isn't much more to tell you that isn't obvious." Charles took a long but smooth sip of his tea and let his blue eyes sink softly in Erik's direction and over his form.

Feeling the knot in his throat return again Erik swallowed around it, "I had a feeling that was the case...but I don't know how to figure out what happened to me, or how to know what I need to do."

"Don't fret, that's something I'm good for. In the mean time, you can stay here in my apartment or, go wherever you'd like honestly, and I'll try my best to get some memories out of you and look around in the local papers to see if I can find your obituary." Charles was leaning himself back into the counter of his kitchen then as he kept taking small sips from the tea cup until it was gone and he set the cup in the sink.

As the warmth was seeping away from his own tea cup Erik frowned deeply, "What do you get out of this? Why help me?"

"I simply want you to move on in peace. It's all I can do for people like you who are stuck and in pain-" Charles was smiling but he physically jumped when Erik made the point to concentrate and slam his hand against a nearby wall, "Stop trying to act like you're perfect! No one does things like this just because they want to, you're getting something out of this! I've met people like you who plaster smiles on their faces and pretend to care about others and get nothing in return, but they-you always do get something out of it!"

For the briefest moment, Charles looked stunned, shocked really and frozen in place when some of the little things around the kitchen gave a small rattle before calming. When they stopped moving Charles' shoulders relaxed very visibly and so did his eyes, "Please calm your mind, Erik. I don't get, and can't, get anything from helping spirits move on other than my own peace of mind."

"I still don't believe you but...I guess beggars can't be choosers, I don't have any other options. Don't start thinking I'm going to like you or this whole thing, or that I'm going to suddenly leave you a bunch of money in my Will." Even though he hadn't given a very thankful answer, Charles smiled nonetheless, though just a smidge smaller than his previous ones. "Well, then you're free to come and go from my apartment all you like until we're able to help you move on."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

His first night spent inside the luxury apartment had felt like heaven to Erik. The change in scenery was much welcomed and there were so many different things to look at it had almost been overwhelming to Erik's senses.

The living room consisted of a suede love seat couch, two arm chairs with a coffee table between them, a chess set on said coffee table, and a large tv along with the proper pieces to it like remotes. From what Erik could tell Charles wasn't much of a decorator and most things were bare, no knick knacks or crazy furniture. The most the young man had hanging up were a few family pictures, a mother and father with their young son, and a picture of Charles when he was younger with a girl with blond hair.

Being in the kitchen was mostly unremarkable, the counter tops were some type of stone and the wood was a matching dark brown along with the kitchen table. There was a long since abandoned and untouched coffee machine in the corner, obviously neglected in exchange for the tea brewing ingredients that littered the counters.

The bathroom had plain white walls but a gorgeous looking shower, it was the kind Erik had always longed after in his own place. A standing shower contained by glass walls and a door, along with the porcelain unattached bathtub that looked plenty deep for two people to share.

For the time being Erik had left the two rooms at the end of the hall fall off of his radar, one being Charles bedroom and a place for privacy, the other had been closed so Erik had taken that as a keep out sign. For now at least, who knew how bored he would get while Charles would be away for the days and leaving him alone here.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The following two months passed by slowly for Erik as he resided inside of Charles' large apartment.

For the first week staying with the living man Erik had been treated with such kindness, he was sure the attitude wouldn't stand its ground when Erik stopped being something new and exciting for Charles to play with. Surely the brunette would stop coming home from college courses in the afternoon to help Erik practice on manipulating objects to move them around.

Having been only partially right didn't feel like a victory in the spirits mind. After only a week and a half, Erik had become quite good at moving things as he pleased, at least simple things like turning on the tv, reading books and the like. After dinner one evening, dinner which Charles always insisted Erik sit and have an almost one sided conversation over with him, the shorter man suggested something different.

"Do you happen to play chess, Erik? I'm afraid this is less of a teaching tool and more just me hoping for a good challenge." Charles was being honest but had an ambitious quirk to his lips that felt contagious even to the resident ghost who soon found himself mirroring a similar smirk. "Of course I play chess, what do you take me for Charles, an uncultured swine?"

Laughter echoed joyfully from both of them, more boisterous from the shorter of the two than it did from Erik. Each of them took their seats and began to play together, Erik couldn't recall ever having such a good opponent before such as Charles. The brunette player kept a poker face during the entire game until the very end when a sneaky smirk crossed his face before he subsequently won at a check mate three turns later. "That was pretty good, you're not half bad." the victor complimented after seeing the sour and astonished expression on the ghosts face.

"I can't remember the last time someone beat me...I must be rusty!" he declared in defense. Causing Charles to stifle a soft laugh, "I'm sure, that just means we'll have to play more often so you get that edge back."

Chess became a normal part of their evenings on most nights by the end of week three, Erik still had yet to best Charles in a game but he was getting closer. Just as going with the man to the grocery store had become quite normal, Erik would linger over the other man's shoulder and comment on things that he would buy sarcastically. Often telling the medium to get a different brand or how bad the product was for your body, anything to get a rise out of the calm young man. Once or twice the specter had gotten Charles to snap at him in the middle of the grocery store and cause eyes to stare at him in the confusion that he was talking to himself.

Daytimes were by far the hardest part of being in the apartment alone, much as it had been difficult to keep busy in the park. Erik had resulted in watching a lot of tv and apparently during the daytimes the only thing on the channels that Charles got were reality tv.

It left him shocked when one morning when he found himself watching and sighed before snapping at the tv, "Dammit Janice he's just using you!" before slapping his hand against his own forehead in disbelief that Janice had taken Gregory back with open arms.

Safe to say that after the incident Erik had put himself on a ban from the television and made a note to never mention what had happened to Charles, it would be too embarrassing that Erik could practically die again.

After the first month had come and gone at a slow pace things became easier for Erik. The accommodating behavior didn't go away but it had changed, from being an inn keeper attending a guest to feeling quite close to what Erik considered a friendship. Now there were times he could go completely bored, Charles had brought out his collection of movies for Erik to watch and gone out to the library to gather books to read.

In the earlier weeks, Erik had found himself complaining quite often about Charles helping him find out what had happened to him, and plenty of times had they gone out looking for clues to no avail no matter how hard they tried or asked around. Now that his fifth week was approaching after coming here the Specter realized he hadn't complained about such a thing in almost a week and a half.

Perhaps it was how tired Charles had been coming home every night, looking even more exhausted from school than he normally did and it made a wave of guilt wash over Erik's stomach to think of adding to such stress. Without realizing the distrust he felt towards the spiritualist had faded but not disappeared, still lingering on the edge of his mind at times.

For just a little over three weeks Erik settled himself into their routine without complaining, watching the trees outside go from different colored leaves to being completely naked. The windows in the mornings and late evenings would often be coated with a light layer of frost and sometimes the residential spirit would write things in the condensation for his companion to see later on. Usually, dumb things such as ' _Moira left you a message'_ or ' _Mail is on the table'_ during days when Erik would be engrossed in a book and neglected to greet Charles when he came home from classes.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Being dead meant that Erik didn't have the pleasure of sleeping, sometimes he did try to mimic it by lounging on the love seat in the living room and closing his eyes while playing some quiet music on Charles' boombox. On one particular night what he experienced was close enough to sleep and a nightmare Erik didn't know what else he could have described it as.

 _He could suddenly feel everything that he hadn't been able to the last two months. The wind, sun, environment and when walking by others Erik could feel eyes meet with his in brief passing-bys._

 _Then there was pain, unbearable flaring pain in his throat and the taste of copper as his knees buckled underneath him. Coughing Erik tried to force himself to throw up the contents of his stomach in hopes that it would ease whatever ailed him. There were flashes of blood, then more, and more until the pool was big enough to reach out and touch his hands that were planted onto the ground underneath him._

Screaming Erik clutched the sides of his head before all but yanking his eyelids open, his whole non-body shook violently as Erik tried to focus his breath but was having a tough time doing so. He was in the park where he had woken up, there was no blood underneath him but the pain inside of his throat and the taste of copper lingered leaving a panicked response in its wake.

Practically slamming his hand onto the pavement beneath him Erik used his free hand to start clawing at his throat, deliberately scraping his short nails against his throat. "Ahh! Ah it burns! Get it out!" Forcing himself to cough and trying to compel his stomach to throw up like he had in his vision-nightmare.

"Erik!" Charles' voice sounded suddenly from across the park and the sound of his footsteps picked up and ran towards him. Looking up Erik felt his eyes going a bit bluffy, "Charles! Charles get it out, get it... _out_!" the terror in his eyes and voice were obvious, sending concern through Charles' whole being. Kneeling by the spirits side Charles hovered his hands before Erik's arms before touching down with concentration, "Erik thank goodness I found you. What's wrong? Tell me what's going on!"

Lifting one hand from his friend's arm to the hand that was still scratching at Erik's throat Charles pulled it away and rubbed his thumb over Erik's knuckles. "It burns Charles, I-I fell asleep and when I woke up my stomach hurt, my throat feels like it's on fire and I remember puking up so much blood! Please make it stop!" Pulling his hand from Charles touch the spirit grabbed a desperate handful of the Brit's thrown on pea-coat, "Charles..." he whimpered this time.

When the clutch tugged him closer with its grip Charles encircled Erik tightly in a warm embrace. That feeling of sunshine and its rays washed over the cold specter and started to settle Erik's shivering and comfort his mind. Coming back to his senses slowly Erik pushed his pride to the side and leaned his forehead into Charles' shoulder. "It was a memory, it's alright my friend...just a memory no matter how awful and real it felt. You poor thing you're still shaking like a leaf." That was a slight overstatement since the shivers were coming and going now but Erik just couldn't get rid of the image of all of that blood and just how badly his body had hurt.

"You feel so warm, is that because you're attuned to spirits?" Charles nodded in return and nuzzled the top of Erik's head, the spirit was briefly thankful that it seemed very early in the morning and no one was in the park yet or Charles would have looked foolish in his actions. Even knowing that Erik was completely confident if there were people around it wouldn't have changed the man's actions whatsoever, Charles was too kind for his own good most of the time.

Pulling away when the shuddering and vile feelings felt manageable Erik propped himself up to look Charles eye to eye from their spot on the ground. "Thank you, Charles. I don't remember walking here, just like when I used to walk away from the park only to end up back here." Nodding in response Charles let a small smile crawl over his features, "Spirits are often drawn to the place where they died, I wasn't sure even if I suspected this might be your death place."

Guessing he could understand why Charles wouldn't have told him that, so not to influence his thoughts and feelings about the park, knowing the information had been withheld made Erik frown deeply but not comment on that particular piece of information. "You seem to know a lot more than you let on." Slowly testing his non-bodies stability Erik pulled away and made easy movements to stand up, Charles' movements had mimicked his own as if to be there if the ghost would suddenly collapse.

"Apologies my friend, sometimes I find it easier for spirits to pass on when they know very little. I've told you everything important I promise, and I really wasn't sure if this was where you had died or not. Occasionally spirits get stuck in places that are just important, or symbolic to them, instead of being their last place on Earth." as usual the Brit's voice had a scholarly edge to it as he explained the situation. "It's a good sign though, if you were _dreaming_ about your death hopefully you will remember soon and I can help you better. Now let's get you back home." the medium reached out to touch Erik's arm and rub his thumb over his spectral arm in a soothing manner.

Glancing over his friend Erik started to notice, Charles must be freezing. It could only be the early hours of the morning, there was chilled wind, frost on the grass and clouds in the sky with no sunlight yet come. The man was shivering yet he still felt warm to the touch for Erik. "Let's go before you get sick. It was very dense of you to run out here looking for me in just...boxers, a robe and...mismatching socks?" His words had started out serious, ready to give the man a scolding, and then found the words turning more into a tease than anything at the end.

Getting a smile from Charles made the whole thing worth it, "I was worried about you." The younger man had a right to be worried too, the situation still left Erik shaken even if the physical tremors had stopped. All he could do was be hopeful that this wouldn't repeat, that the next time he dreamt it would be the full memory.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Almost three more weeks passed after that incident free, the two men sank back into their routine together with the minor change here or there. The residential spirit had gone out for a short walk one early afternoon, he had been doing so lately which he would never have attempted earlier in staying here due to his fear of not being able to find his way back and instead worrying that he would end up stuck in that park again. Unsure if Charles would have come to find and bring him back to the apartment.

The worry of that had long since passed, especially after seeing the living man run out in the cold morning to find him, hold him, comfort him like a true friend.

Moving through the door as usual Erik announced his presence, "Charles I'm ba...ck. Are you decorating?" Taking in a glimpse of the ceiling, which now had paper bats hanging from it, and a side-look at some of the windows which had ghosts and pumpkins in them, Erik started to snort. "I never would have pegged a spirit-seer as someone who loved Halloween, the holiday that has turned into being nothing but about candy."

Noticing the glint in Charles' eye the spirit swallowed hard and walked over to get comfortable in his usual armchair in the living room, the look in Charles' eye meant that he was happily going to school Erik on his thoughts of Halloween. "Well as you know by now I'm not particularly religious or anti-religious but All Hallows' Eve is celebrated by many people over the world at slightly different intervals and ways, called different things. Let's see...All Hallows' Eve, Day of the Dead, All Souls' Day, Festival of the Dead, those are just a few." glancing his blue eyes over to his friendly specter to make sure the man was listening, Charles was pleased to find Erik was happily listening with a content look on his face.

"Of course Halloween is Christianized...Americanized, however you want to put it, but the basis of it is to remember the dead. You should be happy to know that during the week around Halloween and Day of the Dead spirits like you do usually gather a lot more strength, you could make yourself seen to someone if you wished and probably go out and do some fun things." Looking confused Erik scoffed, "Isn't that just some dumb cliche for movies?"

"Honestly Erik, I'm not sure how it works but I know it happens. I _think_ it has something to do with all of the energy living people put in thinking about spirits, praying for them even. Or my other theory is that because so many spirits choose to return to Earth during this time that all of that combined energy flows through all of you and is shared." Standing up from his armchair Erik walked over and smiled, he had been watching Charles give little attempts to hang a paper pumpkin at the top of the window he was standing by with no avail.

Stepping close Erik touched one hand to Charles' shoulder and took the pumpkin with his other, leaning on his tip toes to place it where the shorter man had wanted it. "There. If what you say is true maybe I will go out and do something fun, I don't have anyone I want to visit and see. Everyone I love is long dead already." A warm hand made its way to touch over Erik's heart, the usual warmth radiated from Charles' being like a vent.

"I'm sorry." the medium apologized and glanced away, his face seemed a little flushed and his eyes fluttery all of a sudden. "You'll be able to see them again once you pass on, just a little longer. You just need to wait a little longer." Giving Charles' shoulder a satisfied squeeze the spirit nodded back. "I know Charles, for the time being I'm...content here. Even if we don't agree on everything, you are quite a good host."

The holiday came quickly and with the approaching days Erik found that his friend was right, he was feeling more powerful and when he took his walks people had started to notice him like he was actually there. On October 31st the taller man found himself sitting on the apartment buildings front steps with Charles, who was dressed as a poorly done ghost and holding a bowl of candies to hand out to the trick-or-treaters.

"You are ridiculous." had been Erik's only comment to the costume. Charles had gone full cartoon on his costume, making his hair stick up in awkward angles with styling mousse, wearing ragged looking clothes, and painting his face and some of his skin white. "You're just jealous I look more like a spirit than you do." had been Charles' weak come back.

The evening felt oddly perfect, Charles was handing out candy and he had the good stuff. Full sized candy bars for the kids, all of them looking like they'd been given a gold brick when they got to pick one. Erik couldn't help himself either, more than once when kids had shown up in groups without adults he had shown them a trick and made his arm go through something or another. Usually getting gasps of amazement from younger kids, and snorts from teenagers who didn't believe it was real and chalked it up to some parlor trick.

Nightfall grew dark and Charles was sifting through the remaining candy bars, there weren't many, the medium sighed out. "Now I'm going to have to eat all of these myself." Breaking one open and biting into it the man made a happy noise. "I wish you could have some too Erik-hm?" A sudden urge came over the friendly spirit, cupping his hand around Charles' cheek to turn the man's face towards him, Erik pushed all of his concentration to make sure that this would work and leaned forward. He stiffly kissed the shorter man next to him, even though Erik couldn't eat he still got the faint taste of chocolate from Charles' lips and left the kiss lingering for another few seconds and pulled back.

Even through the white makeup, Erik could see the pure redness of Charles' face, and that the man had dropped his candy bar back into the bowl with the other unopened ones. Their faces were still close, his hand still in place on the other mans' cheek but finally Erik muttered words of apology. "I'm sorry, I just think you're kind of amazing...and watching you joke and talk with all of those kids I just..." Not pulling away the spirit suddenly felt self-conscious and couldn't look his friend in the eyes anymore.

"If I weren't dead I would have asked you on hundreds of dates by now...and...and I know! I know this can't go anywhere because I'm...and y-you're..." swallowing the lump in his throat Erik shuffled closer and pressed his forehead to Charles', the shorter man not pulling away but avoided meeting his gaze. "Listen, I was thinking that during this time that I can interact with others I might go out and do dumb shit, get laid if that's even possible. But tonight I was so happy just watching you smile and play around with little kids, I'd much rather just be with you than anywhere else right now."

The breath hitched in Charles' throat but finally, those blue eyes lifted up to meet Erik's gaze. "E-Erik I-" Cut off by lips pressing against his own the medium stiffened, and then relaxed under the touch to kiss back. "You feel similar too don't you Charles? I know you, you aren't small and weak like you want people to think...if you hated this then you would have done something to stop it by now."

Reluctantly the smaller man gave in and nodded against Erik's forehead, "I feel that way as well."

After heading back inside and letting Charles get his costume off and into his pajamas they found themselves lounging on the couch together. Flicking through the channels the medium decided on watching The Sixth Sense that was already halfway through, the man leaned and scuttled around to cuddle up to the spirit next to him.

Nuzzling the brown mop of hair Erik planted a small kiss there as well and kept Charles scooped up close to him. As they cuddled the younger man closed his eyes and muttered, "I want to know more about you...I can feel little things but nothing major. I just can feel you've been through a lot of pain in your lifetime."

His past wasn't something Erik really liked to talk about but the man curled up next to him was so warm, so kind, so fucking understanding it was inhuman. He supposed he could give Charles something to know about him. "Well my father died in a car accident when I was young, and my mother died of suspicious circumstances when I was twelve. It was never solved by the police but I knew who had done it and I remember trying to track that man down for years." Once he got started Erik found it hard to stop telling Charles the truth, telling him about his issues with anger living in the orphanage, being a mediocre student until he got to high school and decided to apply himself.

Not that he was expecting anything less, but Charles didn't judge, he just listened. "Sounds like you've had a hard life, no wonder you're having trouble passing over. Don't ever think that makes you anything less, I can see so much more inside of you and it's a shame you died so early on. If you had been alive I just _know_ you could have done something amazing with it."

Giving a thankful kiss to the top of Charles' head the spirit changed the subject, "What about you? Tell me more about you, Charles. You never talk about yourself."

There was a long pause of silence and for a moment Erik thought his request had been rejected before the other man started talking. "Well for starters, I wasn't born with the power to see spirits. I lived in a big mansion out in Westchester with my mother, step father and for awhile my sister. Surely you've noticed I don't have much of an issue with money despite not working, I inherited quite a bit from my late father. My power was born after I witnessed my sister dying, she caught an awful sickness from a neighboring child we used to play with and neither of them lived from it. I've mostly blocked out the memories but I do remember it being awful...watching her suffer like she did and being unable to comfort her or be allowed into her room-" Charles swallowed to suppress his voice from cracking. "I forced my way into the room when she was passing, I watched her die..."

"Did you see her after that?" the taller man couldn't help but to ask. "Yes, I did. It was a few days afterward when I saw her and it didn't go over well with my parents who thought I was going crazy. Raven, that was her name, she and I eventually figured out what was going on. She stayed with me for years after that in spirit form until I forced her to pass on."

Crinkling his eyebrows Erik asked, "Wait why, and how, did you force her to move on-oh..." stopping his words almost immediately the spirit could see the squeeze and discomfort on Charles' face that was curled up to his side and preventing tears and a sob. "It's ok, shh. I won't push anymore don't fret." Running a hand through Charles' hair seemed to soothe him and they spent the rest of their evening in mostly silence and watching old horror movies until Charles fell asleep.

The next day they had ended up going to the theater to see a movie together, deciding not to go out to dinner together since Erik couldn't eat anything. At the apartment they had chatted, played a game of chess, exchanged a kiss or two and then Charles had headed off to bed.

The evening after that had been something Erik would never forget. Coming home from one of his walks Erik found Charles setting up a little altar, a picture of a few people on a small table with candles in which half of them were lit. "What's all of this? Remembering their spirits?" he guessed.

Charles gave him an award winning smile, "I am, I just like to light candles for them so they know I remember them. Here, I set out some candles for you too Erik. One for your mother, father, and I have extras if there is anyone else you'd like to light one for." the medium offered out the matches which were gratefully taken as the specter started to light his candles. "That's very thoughtful of you, thank you Charles. So you have one for your mother, sister, and your step father?" he glanced over at the other lit candles.

"No, one is for my biological father. I was never close with my step father Kurt, we...didn't see eye to eye even when I was younger." he admitted.

Stepping closer so that their shoulders were brushing Erik nodded, "He must have been a right bastard if _you_ didn't like him, you like almost everyone and everything." Shifting behind the brunette Erik curled his arms around Charles' waist and rested his chin on the shorter man's shoulder. Pulling them close together the older man kissed the shoulder and then planted one against Charles' warm and slowly blushing neck.

"You're beautiful, may I...?" Erik made slow gestures, pushing one of his hands under Charles' shirt and watching him squirm in embarrassment but not try to pull away. "I want to take you to bed if you'd allow me to?" During his walk earlier Erik had felt fewer people being able to notice his presence, he knew that this strength was fading and he wanted to use the most of it that he could. Sure he could touch Charles on a regular basis by concentrating but he knew it wouldn't be enough to do what he wanted right now, though it would be enough to do normal things like kiss and hug thankfully. He had become quite addicted to being close and cuddly with his spiritualist friend.

Getting no verbal answer Erik started to pull at Charles' belt and repeated his question, "May I take you to bed? I need to hear you say it."

"Y-Yes, yes... _fuck!"_ the usually polite man hissed feeling cold but wonderful touches on his skin, "Take me to bed before I go crazy."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Timing had been perfect, the morning after Erik had laid in bed being the big spoon and watching his lover sleep peacefully and worn out. Unable to contain the smile on his face Erik felt almost giddy, he couldn't remember the last time he had connected with someone on a personal level like he did with Charles and in his opinion, that sort of connection had always made for the best sex.

Since he was unable to sleep like Charles was, he had taken his time to admire his lover and just cuddle him thoroughly. Drawing soothing circles with his thumb on the smaller man's forearm and moving the touch up until he felt scarring. He had briefly noticed it earlier but because of the excitement and heat of the moment the scars had been ignored, now Erik had much more time to glance at them.

The sporadic look of the scarring told Erik that these were burn marks, healed but somehow didn't seem all that old and if he had to estimate he would have said a year old. Though he would be the first to admit he was no expert on burns and no doctor, the only way to know for sure would be to ask Charles sometime. The fact that they were burn marks didn't worry the spirit so much, but the fact that the pattern they were in seemed more like a large hand print.

Wasting no time with his curiosity Erik found time to ask later that morning. Charles' annoying beeping alarm had gone off and the sex-messed young man was getting up and dressed, buttoning up a shirt lazily from the bottom to the top. Feeling cold lips kiss the back of his head made Charles smile and laugh in a soft way, "Yeeees?"

"Good morning, Charles. I hope you slept well and I...well I was curious, what this is from?" Drawing a finger over where the scarring was through the white shirt the medium was wearing now. The smaller man's' smile lessened but stayed firmly in place, "A spirit. They're not all as friendly as you are, in fact, it nearly burnt my old home down."

Blinking at the response Erik felt a pit growing inside of his stomach, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked so outright-" turning to face him Charles made sure to concentrate and press a warm kiss to Erik's chin to stop his rambling. "It's fine, it happened more than a year ago and it's over with now. The wound is healed and I live here in the city now instead of the country, it's closer to school anyway and if I hadn't moved here I never would have come across you that day."

Though Erik found his lovers sense of optimism adorable and beautiful, sometimes it worried the spirit that Charles tried so obviously to never dwell on sadder things and accept them. Deciding to press the subject just a little bit he asked, "Is that the only time you've been hurt?"

"God no, I think it is the worst I've ever been hurt but by far the first time." Seeing the suddenly concerning look in Erik's grayish blue eyes Charles swallowed and waved a hand, "Don't worry! Most of those incidents were simply accidents from new spirits, honestly very few spirits turn out to be blood thirsty or cruel. I'd go as far to say one in twenty-five turn out to be violent."

"You've mentioned before that you've helped some pass on but I had no idea you had helped that many before. It's incredible." the older man complimented and watched the praise brighten Charles' expression quite a bit. "Well my old home was quite old, places like that mixed with someone like me tended to draw spirits from nearby areas to it."

Having a realization Erik perked up, "Oh so that's why you live in this place, I always wondered since you never seem to use half of the fancy things in this apartment. It's because it's a newer building right, I think the sign downstairs said it was only built a few years ago." Pulling away to start pulling on his trousers so not to be late for classes the medium agreed, "I love that you can keep up with my train of thought Erik, that's exactly the reason. That and that not a lot of people, in general, live in this building. People bring along bad feelings and ghosts of their own I've noticed."

Then that also explained why, despite having friends Erik had heard about, he had never seen them together. Charles seemed to avoid going out too often and left his socializing to just being at school or on a rare occasion going out to eat with his friends. Erik assumed that feeling some sixth sense thoughts was tiresome on the young man when he was trying to focus on his friends and what they were saying, so having prolonged time around a lot of people could easily wipe out even an extrovert like Charles.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Erik started to become less and less concerned with crossing over, or the fact that Charles hadn't been looking into it for awhile now. He was sure that wherever he was going would not be as pleasant as Charles apartment, as being able to watch the young man come over exhausted and crawl into his arms for a good snuggle on the couch.

For a long month and a half, Erik found himself enjoying his after-life more than his life itself thanks to Charles and the way they had been connecting recently. They had yet to try having sex again, but that didn't seem to matter, they played chess and had long drawn out conversations on many different topics. Sometimes causing an argument, some would get heated, but in the end they just agreed to disagree and enjoyed having someone who matched each other on an intellectual level.

Every night Erik would lay in bed with his lover, at least for a few hours until he got restless, and usually get up to go read or busy himself before returning to lay down again in the morning hours for Charles to wake up to. The spirit had found himself doing some insanely domestic things during this time, like washing dishes if he could concentrate enough, or changing the laundry over from washer to dryer, and even setting out a pile of nicely folded clothes for the younger man to change into that morning for school.

So one night he wasn't expecting to drift off to sleep again like he had in the other instance.

 _Erik could feel it just like last time, the sun and the wind, hearing birds chirp in the park before sudden pain engulfed his stomach and soon it burned up through his throat. Causing him to fall to his knees without grace onto the cement walk way beneath him, choking, coughing, and blood...there was so much blood coming out of his mouth._

 _The moment was lasting longer this time though and didn't just cut, Erik suffered through what felt like an eternity of spitting up the red substance and looking around desperately for help unable to clear his mind and think. Trying his best to call for help a few passer-bys gasped and ran, saying they would get a phone and call for an ambulance. Ultimately Erik was left alone to suffer like this for minute after minute, his vision clouding with black around the edges as he fell over to his side._

 _Losing any energy he'd had before to hold himself up Erik coughed out more blood as he laid on his side. Feeling a hand touch his shoulder a male voice said, "Shit! What happened?" then the young man shook his head as if realizing that was a stupid question for the time. "I heard that lady in the nearby shop calling an ambulance, just hold on it's going to be ok!"_

 _Blue eyes looked down to meet Erik's, he could feel warm hands trying to hold his own in a comforting gesture. "Just a little longer, you just need to get through the pain for a little longer." He knew that face, the face of someone who had helped him so much in the last few months and cared for him, a face which Erik had come to care for more than most people in his life. Charles._

 _It was only in flashes after those words but Erik briefly remembered Charles riding with him in the ambulance, blood on his clothes and hands. Then there was nothing._

"Erik!" that kind voice came yet again as the spirit's eyes cleared from the dream and he could see what was around him. It was early morning again, colder than last time even and darker out still but they were very much in the park and Charles was holding onto him desperately trying to wake him from his vision. "Erik are you back with me!?" and shook his shoulders to jostle him. Seeing recognition in those grayish blue eyes Charles gave a sigh, "Thank goodness. I woke up and you'd disappeared, I had a feeling you'd be here again."

"You were there..." Erik muttered a bit too quietly, "I'm sorry?" came in return from the living man. "I said you were there! You were fucking there when I died!"

Charles' eyes widened and he slowly pulled his hands back to himself, "I-you remember finally...I'm sorry I should have told you but I-" Quickly cutting off any excuse Erik snapped, "Yes you should have told me! You should have fucking told me you witnessed me dying, you found me in the park and you rode with me in the ambulance!"

Grief stricken over his features the brunette looked a bit shaken, "I'm so sorry! It's better and more organic for you to realize it on your own than me telling you! I wanted to tell you so many times-" seeming ready to ramble his reasonings and apologies Erik cut the man off the second time, "Bullshit. You're just some lonely, pathetic fool. Let me guess, you sleep with every handsome ghost you can get to trust you, don't you Charles?"

"I...I have _never_ done that with someone like you before Erik, don't you dare start spouting that shit at me!" Charles put on a brave voice and face but when Erik grabbed both of his wrists and jerked the man forward in a gruff way he practically spat out, "Maybe you don't sleep with them, but you get something out of spirits like me, companionship. Forced, fake companionship to comfort you at night knowing you're less alone!"

Opening his mouth to continue berating the younger man with a volcano of terms and expressions, Erik was silenced by Charles pulling his fist away and punching him square int he jaw. Standing up and away from the angered spirit as quickly as possible, a stiffness to his shoulders as he huffed out visible breaths in the cold air. "If that's what you think of me you are not welcome in my apartment anymore...I thought you of all people would have understood why I didn't tell you."

There was only a short interval of quiet, Erik stared at the man standing across from him as he took everything in. His anger slowly subsiding even if it burned in his stomach like the pain had earlier, bubbling in there and waiting to be released. "You should have-"

"No!" Charles stopped a foot and gripped his hands into fists so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "Fuck you! I left Westchester because I _didn't_ want to deal with spirits anymore, that's why I tried to ignore you when we first met! I was tired of being hurt, left, scarred, hated by spirits like you that misunderstand and blame me for everything when I just want to help you!" Frustration was laced through Charles words and he sputtered out a quick, "Dammit!"

Pulling the sleeve of his jacket that he had thrown on that morning over his knuckles, Charles started to wipe his eyes of the liquid forming in the corners. "God I hate you Erik! You're the one who started to act on your feelings, you wanted to kiss and sleep together, cuddle and now I-I can't stop feeling that way towards you even now when I'm pissed off!"

Finally pushing himself from the ground and standing Erik stepped forward and touched Charles' arms, he still wasn't happy but that didn't mean he wanted Charles to cry like this. "Look don't be sad-" he was shoved away instantly, "I'm not sad, I'm upset and I'm pissed at you! Can't you try to see this from my perspective?"

Starting to deflate from his anger the spirits shoulders sagged, "I...do. I understand why you did it, I just don't agree with it I suppose." Now it was sounding like one of their more normal arguments over different subjects. It always de-escalated into something like this where they would agree to disagree and leave it at that. Pulling his hands away from his newly reddened eyes Charles was still frowning, "Then I guess I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. It was partially me just wishing you to be around longer."

They both knew it, but never really talked about it, but Charles did get lonely quite often. Since his sixth sense made him so tired around normal people it made him never go out, it was very much easier for him to be around spirits where he didn't have to concentrate on them and their lingering feelings and whatever else they dragged around. Instead, being with a spirit was like a diluted version of that, Charles could feel the spirit and some of their feelings but it wasn't nearly as tiring as the complexity of someone in the living plain.

Brushing some hair from Charles' face, Erik's expression started to soften. "I'm sorry for yelling and being so blunt instead of explaining my feelings better." Giving a nod Charles said, "Me too, I'm sorry for not telling you sooner and being sort of selfish. I've just never felt this way for anyone before and I knew that the sooner I told you, the sooner you'd be moving on."

Just like that, it seemed their fighting on the subject was finished, and as they walked back to the apartment together Erik stood behind Charles and concentrated. Attempting to block much of the cold wind that had been chilling the shivering man to the bone since stepping out this morning and looking for Erik.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The spirit had laid in bed with Charles, letting him get some much-needed rest before daylight finally hit. Thankfully there happened to be no classes today, Erik had a feeling they had much to talk about in according to him passing on.

"It was Shaw, who killed you." Charles said later when they were enjoying their respective cups of tea, or in Erik's case just a warm glass in his hands. "Your death was so violent and out of nowhere so I did some research into it before I met you like you are now. With the help of my friend at the Police Station, Ms. Jubilee, we were able to find out who you were with just before your death. I was able to find out you were in that Hellfire restaurant because with fresh deaths sometimes people leave behind these smoky trails of blood that trail behind them while their bodies are dying, and she did the work from there."

Rubbing his forehead Erik tried to take in the information, "Yes I...I think I kind of remember that. I finally managed to track him down when he was in town and I threatened him with some new information I'd gotten. I thought he was going to send goons after me so I'd already sent the evidence to the police a day before. There's no way he killed me there though, we were in public together in that restaurant."

"Ms. Jubilee is very good at interrogation, she got him to confess to poisoning you...also your mother all those years ago, along with many other crimes he's committed. She wasn't allowed to give me many details on how so I'm left vaguely out of any plot holes I'm giving you, I just...wanted you to know that you can pass on anytime. Shaw is in jail for his entire life, your mother's killer and yours isn't out there anymore." Charles looked worried that Erik would disappear right before his eyes.

Setting his empty and cooling cup down Erik swept the brunette into his arms, "Thank you, thank you so much for finishing what I'd been doing." Leaning into the cool touch of his dead boyfriend Charles sighed, "I'm happy to help, you're a wonderful person who has been plagued by a life of pain and loss. Not to mention...I'm happy to help the person I've quite fallen in love with."

Neither of them expected Erik to say the words back, that would cement this into stone and if he said those three words they both knew he wouldn't be able to pass on ever. "I don't want to move on just yet, I want to stay with you just a little longer Charles. If you'd allow me?"

Hesitating the younger man agreed, "Spirits who stay too long in this world can get out of control and warped...but I'd like it if you stayed at least through Christmas." setting his half empty tea cup on the table Charles snuggled further into the hug.

"I think you mean Hanukkah." blinking rapidly Charles exclaimed, "You're Jewish?"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

The holidays went by too fast for either man's taste, during their time together they had avoided talking too much about each other's pasts or personal things. In fact, they avoided becoming closer than they already were emotionally, knowing that when it came time to part it would only be more painful in the end.

It was one day only a little into the new year when they both seemed to just feel it in the air, today was the day Erik was going to pass on whether they wanted it or not. There was just something that had felt light in his non-bodily form that Erik knew meant something different and he could see the same recognition of knowing on Charles' face.

They never spoke of it out loud until the end, Erik's form was starting to disappear and become more and more see-through. Charles was doing his best to force the tears from his eyes, "I'll miss you very much, I hope the afterlife is as wonderful as I imagine it."

Giving a confident smile Erik let his slight touch linger on Charles' cheek, "Don't you worry about me, I'll be fine. I need you to promise that you are going to be alright though, I worry about you too even if I don't show it often. The thought of you being left alone in this apartment, no one to watch after you it...it scares me."

A single tear dripped down one of Charles' eyes, only to be brushed away by Erik's thumb. "I'll manage like I always have." That was the best they could each do in this unfair situation.

It took only minutes but finally, Erik's form was gone entirely, Charles slid down to his knees and his facade broke as he sobbed to himself. "I'll miss you, I'll miss you so much, Erik!"

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 _Death was beautiful and breaking at the same time, but Erik could say the idea of after life had warmed on him just a little towards the end._


End file.
